I haven’t been on tumblr in such a long time. i’ve been using the pics posted on here as a way to compare myself to them, and i’d feel lousy about myself instead of using it as “thinspiration.”
i’ve tried everything i could from low-card ketosis diets, to eliminating food groups entirely, to eating only a low amount of calories for a week, not eating at all, and so on. i found that i never ever succeeded on any of these. the only thing i’ve done is eliminate wheat and gluten from my diet (mostly because i’m allergic and it’s helped me lose fat!). i haven’t binged and puked in SO LONG. it feels great… i’ve binged, but no puking :P that’s ok though! i’ve gotten past that! i still want to purge sometimes, but i don’t let myself. it was really hard not to do it at first cuz purging always made me feel better in the moment, but i realized after being so sick and in pain from doing it so much that this wasn’t a way to live… this is a way to die. and i don’t wanna be that way anymore.
i’m still going strong and i’m losing weight still even though i’m eating 2 servings of fruit, minimal grains, and lots of veggies (so i’m usually over 50g carbs every day). going through ketosis made me sick… ketosis is a process your body goes through when it’s ill. no wonder!! even though i’m still having issues trying to consume more than 1,000 cals, i’m getting 800-900.. that’s better than 500-600. it’s a process!! but it’s working and i’m trying and feeling a lot better (: